The Not-Very-Subtle Thanksgiving Placemat.

Have a placemat for Thursday? Just print this out.

And while your Loved One is waiting for the platter to work its way down the table, he or she will get some not-very-subtle hints about a matter they refuse to discuss with you but which you’re very concerned about.

It’s no joke. But in the spirit of the season and to put your loved one in a festive mood, let’s start with this story:

A woman goes into a butcher shop, looking for a large enough turkey to cook for Thanksgiving. She’s plowing through the turkeys in the display case, and the butcher is getting exasperated. She sees him staring, and thinks she better explain. So she turns to him, and asks, “These turkeys get any bigger?” “No, madam,” he replies. “They’re all dead.”

And while we’re on the subject. . . Read more